Sometimes its natural and sometimes its forced

Hey there my lovely little readers, who’s numbers i see have grown! so i’ll start by saying a very BIG WELCOME ALONG I’m delighted to have you here, feel free to take a look around, I hope you like what you see and hang out here in the future. And while we’re on the subject of thanks, i just want to thank my readers who came with me from Neenie’s Getting There, I did wonder if i’d loose a lot of you along the transition but no you stuck with me, i appreciate you all and all your comments, it still amazes me that you guys are interested in what i have to say!

Right then nuff mush.

It seems from your comments on yesterdays post that each and every one of you uses lists ALOT! i wonder if its linked to blogging which i suppose is a glorified form of brain dumping also, so i guess in a round about way it makes sense that we're a list writing bunch o' gals!

So after being on this journey for a fair amount of time now, the choices i make, healthy eating and fitness come naturally a lot of the time, i dont have to think it through or fight with myself i just *want* that healthy choice or i *want* to work out. But i wont lie to you some days, (less now than ever before but still it can happen) its tough, and these are the days that count, these are the days that if you push through and, in the words of Shaun.T “Dig Deep”, these are the days that bring about the most satisfaction, the most hero like feelings, the days that make you feel like your achieving something, and you’ve come a long way.

Today was one of those days, i think that might mostly due to “Pure Cardio” Insanity last night, the most intense session so far, no water breaks, just full on hardcore cardio from start to finish. By 9.45 last night i was laid with head on Buddy’s knee with my eyes rolling in my head I was so tired i felt sick, i dragged myself off the couch and just about crawled into bed, where i fell asleep instantly and awoke this morning in exact same position!

My mood has been wonderful today, i guess a mixture of healthy eating, LOTS of exercise, great sleeps, feelings of achievement of late (i’ve been getting alot of things done most days) and the thought of going to Glasgow tomorrow to do the suits, buy the rings (which i’m pretty darn excited about), and buy some lovely honeymoon clothes and hen night outfits! bliss!! I’ve been cheery and giggly all day!

However despite my mood being wonderful everything else has been forced!

I had to force myself out of bed this morning, my poor tired body wanted another hour. I had to force myself to do some work today, i was seriously lacking in motivation, and I bailed out early, I had to force myself to do Insanity, and I had to force myself to push through to the end, i felt sick for the last half i was so exhausted, i had to force myself to eat dinner, my appetite was gone, i had to force myself to drink my protein i wanted to use the cals on dark chocolate instead, I had to force myself to tidy up, hoover and do the dishes, then i had to force myself to go for a shower and force myself to dry and straighten my hair (cant go to Glasgow with frizzy slept in hair now can I). Despite it all being forced, i managed to do it all, it was a struggle but i did it, and now i have a great sense of achievement and peace! i failed on the calories today i ate approx 200cals over allowance but i’m not going to beat myself up about it, i achieved a whole lot more today, and i have the rest of the week to under eat those 200 cals! no worries!!

Anyways lets talk food peeps: this morning was miserable

So breakfast was a welcome warming bowl of porridge! at weekends I do porridge on the hob and its lovely, so creamy and yummy but through the week i do in the microwave at work and its just not as good, today however i did it in the microwave and it was uber creamy, annoying as i don't know why!!

In the mix:

porridge oats, skimmed milk, water, agave, apricot, blackcurrants, sunflower seeds, raisins, and about 17g of my mums home made paradise slice, hmmmm the paradise slice on it just made this heavenly!

I didnt have an AM snack i was full from breakfast all morning.

Lunch was home made tuna pate, a wholemeal wrap and a garden salad with apricot in it.

After lunch i had a bottle of vitamin water as a little Friday treat and packet of Bear nibbles, these ones are my favourite.

Dinner rocked! i had tuna and a peach and little bit of raw garden veg and 50g of real deep fried home made chips and half a 100% cod fish finger! hows that for a balanced diet eh! this wasnt what took me over cal budget though, this was ok for cals, as the portion of chips was small! I actually remember the last time I had chips was in April! crazy! I’m not a chips fan, its not something i’d choose to eat given the choice aside from cals.nutrition, but this was a welcome treat today! i really really enjoyed them! and it felt good to have them as a treat but within cals! sort of naughty and self righteous all in one go!

Then I came home and had my protein shake, and then had some dark chocolate (thats what took me over my cals! – but lets not dwell – onwards and upwards!)

So tomorrow is rest day from Insanity which is timely as i wont have time to work out tomorrow. Its also very well earned too! i need a break tomorrow mentally as well as physically! And thats week 1 of insanity DONE! go me!!

I just want to give a mention to Healthy Living Blogs, a new site resource use Healthy Livers! its fab, i’m totally impressed with Lindsey’s dedication and effort that she has put in and want to say a huge thank you for building such a wonderful resource. If you haven’t heard of it yet, check it out, here’s the blurb:

Healthy Living Blogs is a new resource for the health blogging community. Created by Lindsey of Sound Eats, HLB is a site designed to enhance the positive community of the healthy living blog world. Bloggers and readers can explore the site and find more blogs to love, bloggers in their area, and forums to deepen healthy discussion and support. If you're interested in having your site listed on HLB, simply send the following information to healthylivingblogs@gmail.com and check the site out for yourself!

· Email subject line: MEMBERS

· Your name (please share if you prefer to go by first name, first and last, or however you prefer to be known on the Internet)

· Blog Name

· Blog URL (please start with http://, not www.)

· Your twitter handle, if applicable

· Your location (if you prefer not to disclose this information for privacy's sake, that is completely understandable. We'll simply include your blog listing in the A-Z listing, not by location, too)

· Any specific labels (i.e. vegan, gluten-free, weight loss, running, etc.)

Thats all from me tonyt chicko lickos, i’m off to try stay awake to watch an episode of The Wire, a new series we’re watching its pretty good!

Do you have days where its forced? does it make you feel better to push on through? is it more natural or more forced for you at the moment? if its more often natural than it is forced, how long did it take you to make this happen?

I used to force it and battle with it more often than not, i spent over a year like that, but earlier this year, my light switch came on and its now about 91% natural these days, which is extremely satisfying! it was hard to get here though!